Dearest gentle readers,

While one might think that a trip to the stars would elevate one’s social standing, it appears that not even the cosmos are immune to earthly criticism. On the morning of April the 14th, a most dazzling crew of women ascended not to a ballroom, but to

outer space

aboard Blue Origin’s rocket. Among the celestial voyagers were none other than songstress Katy Perry, CBS Mornings host Gayle King, fiancée of Jeff Bezos (and Blue Origin co-pilot in spirit) Lauren Sánchez, as well as aerospace engineer Aisha Bowe, civil rights advocate Amanda Nguyen, and producer Kerianne Flynn.

Miss Perry, ever the performer, serenaded her fellow space sisters with “What a Wonderful World,” no doubt a fitting anthem for such a lofty occasion — though she did, in a very terrestrial moment, kiss the ground upon return.

However, while the passengers soared, the public’s approval did not. Indeed, rather than applause, this galactic escapade was met with a firestorm of

disdain

on social media. One might say the launch was more polarizing than a dance card at the season’s first ball.

Model and social commentator Emily Ratajkowski took to TikTok in a most

unladylike

burst of honesty, declaring herself “disgusted.” Her words, as biting as a mother-in-law’s gaze, called the mission “end time s***” and chastised the paradox of preaching love for Mother Earth whilst climbing aboard a spaceship built by what she claims is a planet-destroying enterprise.

For what

, she asked — and indeed, society echoed.

Miss Olivia Wilde, no stranger to a sharp turn of phrase, wielded wit with flair via Instagram, sharing a meme of the return — Miss Perry descending from the shuttle — quipping that “a billion dollars bought some good memes, I guess.” One cannot help but admire the efficiency of such a cut.

Not to be outdone, the ever-unpredictable Amy Schumer feigned her own launch into orbit, jesting that she had been summoned at the last moment to join the voyage. Her commentary, as irreverent as ever, questioned not the mission’s purpose, but the very

name

of space itself.

Naturally, not all took the criticism lying down. Miss King and Miss Sánchez stood firmly in defense of their journey. In a statement to

People

, King declared that “anybody that’s criticizing it doesn’t really understand what is happening here.” Alas, one wonders — is it the understanding that is lacking, or the

relevance

of such an extravagant expedition?

And so, dear readers, while these brave women reached for the stars, it appears they could not escape the gravity of public opinion. Whether pioneers or parodies, only time — and society — will be the final judge.

Yours from Earth,

Lady Whistleup